Sunday Thoughts: What Is A Powerful Mom?

The other night I was scrolling down my Facebook feed and I came across this „gallery style” article, where they referred to some women as the “most powerful moms of all times”. Wait, what do they mean? Was my first thought. More powerful in terms of money? Physical strength? Career choices? Influence over the world? I didn’t quite get the idea of the article’s title, so I clicked on it.

Unfortunately, the article didn’t explain what they meant by “powerful moms” but it left me thinking that night… What is a powerful mom anyway? What makes you a powerful mom? Are powerful mothers perfect? Who decides to call someone a powerful mom? WHAT THE F* IS A POWERFUL MOM? Aren’t all mothers out there powerful already? It takes courage to be a mother. It takes courage to raise a child. Does this make me powerful? I get the feeling that they want to make us believe that a “powerful mother” is the perfect mother and I don’t agree with that at all. That also made me question myself: What is a „perfect mother“ anyway?

I believe perfection is different for everyone. Perfection is not a filter you can choose in real life to make everything look “perfect”. It is relative. It might be different due to culture. It might mean something different to every women or man out there. And „no“, I do not believe that perfection comes hand by hand with “being powerful”. I don’t remember my grandma or my mother having the same pressure. I don’t remember them wanting to be “the perfect mom” or “more powerful” as a mother. And also… they never wanted to be compared with other mothers (by strangers).

I don’t think mothers then had this unbearable pressure over their heads some years ago. Mothers were “just” mothers. The duties of mothers haven’t changed though, the expectations have. But, who created this perfect mother figure that we all look up to (even if we say we don’t)? I strongly believe media is responsible for it.

Those of you who are mothers today like me, probably know what I mean. And no, I am not only speaking about movies, no, no, no. It is also social media that creates such an impact on us. Magazines. TV programs and many other channels of information that secretly “suggest you” to be “perfect and powerful”.

Sometimes, this pressure keeps me awake at night. I am doing it right? What is right anyway? Could I have done it better?

Sure, I could have taken Emilian to one more afternoon activity. I could also have made more money last month. How about getting the laundry done in time or cooking a healthy meal every evening? Instead, I sometimes run down to the local supermarket around our neighbourhood praying for it to be open. Or I have to visit my mom because I have run out of other basic stuff at home during a bank holiday. These and much more is my reality and no matter how hard I try, there will always be a loose end.

I made up my mind … perfect mothers don’t exist. Powerful mothers do and this I can assure, we all are.

DEUTSCH

Auf Facebook bin ich über den Artikel “Die stärksten Mütter aller Zeiten” gestolpert. Bevor ich mir die Liste ansah, schoß mir ein Gedanke durch den Kopf. Was bedeutet „starke Mutter“? Welche Kritierien werden für so eine Auflistung berücksichtigt? Geld? Bekanntheit? Körperliche Stärke? Was um alles in der Welt soll eine „starke Mutter“ sein?

Ich wollte die Antwort wissen. Neugier siegte. ich klickte auf den Link. Zu meiner Enttäuschung musste ich aber feststellen, dass die besprochene “Stärke” nirgends definiert wird. Was zeichnet eine starke Mutter also aus? Ist nicht jede Mutter stark? Ein Kind aufzuziehen ist keine einfache Sache. Bin ich jetzt also auch eine starke Mutter? Muss man eine „perfekte“ Mutter sein um als stark angesehen zu werden? Was macht eine perfekte Mutter? Und wer bzw. was ist dann eine “normale” Mutter? Je länger ich darüber nachdenke, umso mehr Fragen kommen auf.

Ich ertappe mich, wie ich mein Mami-Dasein hinterfrage. Meistere ich das Leben von meinem Kind und mir richtig? Bin ich stark? Bin ich als Mutter „gut genug“?

Schluss damit. Hören wir doch endlich auf! Es gibt keine perfekte Mutter. Nur starke Mütter wird es immer geben … du und ich, jede Einzelne von uns ist eine starke Mami! Auf ihre Art und Weise. Davon bin ich überzeugt.